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Friday, October 17, 2008

A tribute to the one with the glass of wine.

I'm here blogging out the last post (probably) before my Os end 'cuz I wanna be studying hard instead of "wasting" my time blogging out about my thoughts/feelings.
I've got no time for that, only time to stuff my brain with useless knowledge I won't use 10 years from now.
So I thought I'll just post up something for Desmond since we've been having some rather.. heated discussions recently and if he (ever) sees this, at least he knows what I've been trying to tell him all along.

Hey baby, this goes out specially to you, especially at this time where we've been having some disagreements over some.. stuff. But I'd really like you to know that I'll never leave you for another guy, that's just nonsense if I do. I know that you're not some one who understands my thoughts, actions and feelings, neither do I understand you, but that doesn't matter. We've got all the time in the world to understand one another. It doesn't take a day to understand some one, neither 2 months, who has lived for the past 16/18 years in this complicated place we call Earth. There's so many things involved and each situation that comes along, no matter how similar, will render different actions from the both of us.

Yet, I can tell you, every single time this situation happens, I'll have the same reaction. I can't take it whenever you keep asking me to go find another guy who will treat me better than you do, make me happier than you can, understand me better than you ever will be able to. I don't need such a guy. All I need is you. True, if I can find a guy with all of the above, I'm sure I'll be really happy. But that guy isn't you, and I don't love him baby.

Though we've been with one another for the past 2, going to 3, months, we've been under an unofficial status of in a relationship, and despite it all, we've been through many things together, the most recent one, quarrelling. I don't deny that I have been contacting other guys, 'cuz they were the ones who came to contact me first. You know I didn't go and talk to them first. Moreover, today, I'll be going to school to study with a bunch of guy classmates, I've already told you about it. But all these won't change a thing, especially how I feel towards you, baby. They're just a bunch of guys I've shared the past 2 years of memories in class with. It's the last month or so I'll be with them, and most probably, I'll never see them again when we graduate. So I'm taking this chance to spend the last few days before my Os to study with a group of good friends.

You've got to trust me baby, I'll never leave you for anyone, except maybe Joe Jonas or Zac Efron--- just kidding! You're all I need and want, and more. I know that you can give me the love I can never find from my family or friends, I know you'll give me the sense of security I want, being there in your arms says it all. You're my silly big gorilla! So don't ever feel threatened just because I'm contacting another guy, or going out with a bunch of classmates, they don't mean nothing to me, just good friends only. But you're different baby, you're much more. You're the one I'm giving my heart to, they're people I laugh with and share a million bad days in class with. You're the one who'll see me through as I grow up. As I cry when I graduate from Secondary School, as I laugh/cry when I get back my O level results, as my nervousness threatens to engulf me during my first day of JC/Poly life.. You'll see me through different phrases of my life, and I definitely want you to be the one who's there through it all.

You've already seen me through most moments, seen me laugh, cry, throw a tantrum, being stubborn and wanting my way to be the only way.. Countless and priceless expressions that I've given you. The one and only whom I want to share my path in life with.

And favourite baby, last night when we were quarrelling, I couldn't help looking at this photo, and a few tears dripped down.

I love the way things were when we took this photo. Smiles plastered on our faces that will last through all of time, so long as some one keeps this picture. Priceless baby, priceless.

I love you, Desmond Mah, this is something that won't grow lesser, but always grow more.

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