Used to.

Some times I really wonder what's even the point. I see this heading on a one way trip on a bullet train down the drain. Why do we pretend to keep this up when it's secretly getting us down in every way possible? Isn't it better to just let go when the time's up instead of letting it drag on, while acting like every thing is perfectly fine? Maybe it's just easier to pretend to the world that we're happy than let them know how hard it is to keep up that smile on our faces. Or maybe it's just me that's just about ready to let go. Maybe I've been seeing the flaws and cracks staring at me for far too long and all these is getting to me. I'll not deny that we used to be so much happier than we were now; that every little thing you said or did will never fail to bring a smile to my face, even if it was you teasing me about how messy my hair looks when I wake up; that just being in your arms meant heaven on earth; that just hearing your voice makes the worst nightmares go away... Life seemed so much simpler back then, so much more peaceful. But now I'm being dragged down by all the lies and broken promises, there's only so much I can take before this facade collapses and I don't want to be there to see it when it does. I'd much rather we leave now when every thing still appears to be a real-life fairytale, than to see the shattered dreams all around.

Life seems so much better when it was just me, alone.