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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Secondhand Serenade - Stay Close, Don't Go.

I'm staring at the glass in front of me, is it half empty? Have I ruined all you've given me?
I know I've been selfish, I know I've been foolish, but look through that and you will see, that I'll do better.
I know, baby I can do better.

If you leave me tonight, I'll wake up alone, don't tell me I will make it on my own.
Don't leave me tonight, this heart of stone will sink 'til it dies, if you leave me tonight.

Sometimes I stare at you while you are sleeping, I listen to your breathing, amazed how I somehow managed to sweep you off of your feet girl.
Your perfect little feet girl, I took for granted what you do, but I'll do better.
I know, baby I can do better.

If you leave me tonight, I'll wake up alone, don't tell me I will make it on my own.
Don't leave me tonight, this heart of stone will sink 'til it dies, if you leave me tonight.

And don't you know, my heart is pumping, oh, it's putting up the fight.
And I've got this feeling, that every thing's alright.
Don't you see? I'm not the only one for you, but you're the only one for me.
If you leave me tonight,I'll wake up alone.

If you leave me tonight, I'll wake up alone, don't tell me I will make it on my own.
Don't leave me tonight, this heart of stone will sink 'til it dies, if you leave me tonight.
Don't leave me tonight.

Currently one of my favourite songs, it's hard not to see why.

Recently, I have to admit that I haven't exactly been in the best of moods, it's due to the one million and one things running through my head, all seeking my 101% attention at the same time.
Bet many others would find this task daunting but I've been trying to control my thoughts, prioritising those which I feel should deserve much more thought than the rest.
Yet with everything rushing towards the information desk, I wonder just how long it will take before I break down for I can recognise all the symptoms that are so familiar to me by now.
The lack of concentration, often staring into space, 1% of interest in the most eye-catching things in front of me.. need I say more?


However, I do not want to, nor do I have the time and energy to break down.
Everytime I take time off to lock myself up and cry everything out, it drains me, emotionally and mentally, so much so that I've got nothing better to do then to cry all over again.
This usually lasts approximately 2-3 days and I don't have these time to waste away, Os are in 20 days.
Tell me, what should I do now?


Guess I'm slowly losing control of my ability to hide my emotions for today, most of my friends could tell that something was wrong.
I did not let slip what was bothering me, I didn't see the need to, for even if I said every single thought out, nothing will change.
Nothing ever does.
I'll just have to learn to live with it, trying to convince myself time and time again that every thing's all right, that I'm thinking too much, that I'm paranoid.
I'm taking myself for an idiot, I know nothing's all right.


How do you tell yourself to trust some one when you know that some one's probably lying?
I really don't wish to spill a single word but I'm losing the determination to do so, it'll be so much easier to talk things through before coming to conclusions.
It isn't like me at all to bottle everything up.


Yet, since when have I ever settled anything, or even made what I want to say known to others?
Most just try to argue that they're right and that I'm a fool.
True, they may feel that they're right, but every one's entitled to their own perceptions, and no one's perception is wrong.
So aren't I entitled to mine too?
And if that's so, why do they keep insisting that their's is right and mine's always wrong?
They say that I should see this and I should see that.
But all I want to do is say "Shut Up" and walk away.
I want to see nothing, I don't want to understand anything, I'm too tired to care.


Tell me what do you do when the one who can make you smile is actually the one that makes you cry?



Goodbye lover.

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