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Saturday, August 16, 2008

See that loving you, was what I was trying to do.

Perhaps I'm not the one that you want, maybe you just think that you like me.
Been having a thousand and one things running through my mind in the past hour or so.
Probably I shouldn't have gone to her blog, shouldn't have glanced through all that you and her did together.
It got me thinking about all that I am, all that you are, all that we are.

I'm not her, I'll never be here either.
I'll never be the perfect girl friend that every guy wants, perfectly manicured, perfectly groomed in every way possible.
Not some one who'll be prim and proper, just take a look at the way I sit usually and you'll understand.
I'm not pretty, not smart, not rich, not lovable in any way.

Never thought that I'd meet you in this life, never thought that we would even be friends.
When I even knew a person like you existed, you were her's.
Didn't matter to me, I didn't know you at all back then.

On the 25th of July, came in the first message you ever sent to me, you caught me off guard.
Started the messages, and the phone calls, then the going outs.
Days passed and slowly, I've realized it's weird spending a day without you by my side.
This won't do, an alarm started going off in my head.

Falling for you was never something I thought would ever happen.

Yet slowly but surely, I caught myself thinking during the day about you.
Wondering if you were thinking of me too.
Thought about when would be the next time I'd see you smiling at me, when would be the next time you call me "baby".

Don't know where this post is heading to, I just know there's so many things I wish to get off my chest.

I have my tempers, my moods, my attitude, my way of doing things.
I will never be the girl you can shape into the one that you want, I'll not be a push over.
I like having things my way.

I'll not be taken for granted, I'll not be some substitute.

Boy, do you understand that even though some times, I may seem like her, for most girls have similarities, no matter how different they may be.
We all have mood swings, have days where we just don't wish to let you hold our hands
But I'm Cheng Yi Qing, I'm from Xinmin Secondary, I'm a Taurus, my birthday's the 8th of May, I'm a Nerd, I'm Fucked up, I'm not Her.

Think things through thoroughly and tell me who's the one you really have feelings for.
I'm not one to be taken for some one else.

But B, I miss you.

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