Dearest,

Went to Catholic High's homecoming with Ming Ting and the number of guys there were like 50 guys to one girl.
So deprived :X

Swam with Pearleen afterwards at Tampines and train-ed to City Plaza for a walk.
She wanted to get a grey top but left with just a lip balm, so funny ok.

Went to my grandma's house afterwards and studied.
Finished Chapter 2 of History and started on Chapter 3.

I was too rash, I was too harsh and I know I was too angry to care.
But all of a sudden, I feel the weight of the world as a burden on my shoulders.
I never dared to voice out all I felt until yesterday, I'm not going to take my words back.
That was how I had been feeling all these while.

Now, I suddenly realized that I've lost a good friend, one of the people who has the ability to put up with all of my shit.
He never gave up despite me in all of my moods, and you know how my moods can get usually.
I know I've been the worst friend ever for the past month of so, yet he never left.
Yet now when I realize my folly, I realized that he isn't here for me anymore.

I know I said I won't stop him if he chose to left, I still won't.
However, now I realized what an important person he is to me all along, I was just too stupid too see past my willfulness.
He was right, I'm too self-centered for my own good.
I guess I'll never have the chance to make amendments, I took him for granted far too many times.

Dear Xun Hong,
Here's a letter which I guess you'll never read cuz I don't know if you'll ever chance upon my blog again. I guess you chose to left at the very end and I'm happy you did. I know you'll be happier without me in your life for ever since I became more than a friend to you, all I've brought was just hurt and bad memories. I never knew how to treasure you and I admit that I've taken you for granted many times even though I never knew I was and I never did it on purpose.

It's too late to apologise and I know it. But I just want to say that I'm sorry for all those moments where I ignored you or neglected you without letting you know the reason why. Especially all those times when I got mad with you and you didn't even realize it. So whenever I showed you attitude and blamed things on you, you never understood. It was all a mistake on my part and you'll never know just how horrified I am at myself.

I knew I made many mistakes when I was with Qing Hong. Though I said I'd change my ways, I guess I just never did. I guess a leopard never changes its spots and I'm one of those "leopards". I never deserved you in my life, guess you were willing to give more than I could accept. I'm happy that you're happier without me.

I'll never regret all those times you accompanied me when I needed some one to despite the fact that you were damn tired due to a day's training and those time where you had undying faith in me though I had no cofidence in myself at all. You were one of those who showed me uncondition devotion and never blamed me for anything I did, no matter how wrong I was.

I once said that you were one in a million and I was only in many. I'm right. You're too good for me to put it in lay man terms. I'll never forget you. If only, there was a chance to salvage this dying friendship, I'll be more than glad to give it my all.

With love.