Time to wake up.

Why are you trying so hard to fit in? I know it's every one's desire to find the one place they belong, be it in a clique or just in general, life.

But don't you know that it's ok to be yourself? Or at least as close to your real self as you can go, cuz after all, who doesn't play 'dress up' and pretend that they are some one they are not.

I also admit that I may react different or behave differently when I'm with different groups of people. Think about it, how can I be the gossipy and bitchy type of girl when I'm around my parents?? They'll kill me if I so much as utter a vulgarity please!

I never said it was wrong to pretend.

However, there is a time for everything and it IS tiring to play dress up for EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT. (Or do you even do so in your dreams? Then it'll be like every single second.)

There'll always be a group of people who'll accept you for whatever side you choose to show, well not every one like those ridiculous sides where you backstab every single fucking person la, I mean use your common sense here please? I don't have to spell out every single word right?

But you get what I mean, there's this group of people who can accept the most shit from you that most people cannot.

I of all people should know duh, how many people can accept who I really am?

Not many, that is for sure.

Which is precisely why I hold those few who can close to my heart, the rest, I just take every thing on surface value.

This doesn't mean I'll backstab you as and when I feel like or whenever I feel it'll suit me. C'mon, give me some credit, I've been there and done that, been on both sides of the story, the backstabber and 'backstabbee'. So it's not like I don't know how it feels like right.

Oh wait, I'm digressing.

Point is, why can't you just try to be nicer to those friends who have stuck up for you and stuck with you even though you keep on throwing shit at them?

Don't you even realize it that some people are doing far more for you then they even have to?

They don't owe you to be friends with you, y'know?

But it was purely our of choice (or even sympathy?) that they stuck with you for so long and you're not even treasuring what you have.

They are friends who don't owe you a living, they are friends who chose to be with you despite knowing your flaws right from the start, they are friends who have stuck with you, even though you may have hurt them with your actions over and over again.

Don't you owe it to them to at least try to change for the better? I think you do.

I'm sure you're not that dense to not even know that you're annoying them, haven't you noticed anything different at all?

I know I'm in no position to comment cuz after all, it's not me you're hurting. But I just guess I want to say is that if you're guilty of anything I've mentioned, it's time to open your eyes and look around you. Look at the people who have put in effort to maintain friendships or relationships with you even though they don't have/need to. It's time to learn to appreciate the people around you and to not take them for granted any more.

Indeed, I'm not perfect. However, whoever dares say they are?

Hence, it's never too late to start trying but it'll be too late if you give up before even trying to make amendments.

Guess I just want to thank all you people who have stuck up for me and been with me throughout the years/months/days. After all, some people are born to stay in your life and not only leave the shadow of a footprint behind.

Love you all and I know you know that I'm referring to you :)

And D! I love you very very much too <3

[w/ edits]

Photo of me and J before we started work last night with the Breathe Easy thing on our noses! Matching purple ok! MWAH <3

[/edit]