all over again

Every thing's getting so damn messed up, I don't know which way to turn to find solace in a sea of uncertainty.
I know life isn't a bed of roses, never have been, never will be.
But can't life just cut me some slack and leave me to nurse my wounds once in a while?
It really sucks when you thought everything was stable and suddenly, some thing comes to shake it and everything seems to be tumbling down.

I thought you'll have faith in me, trust me that even though I may be friends with other guys, you're the one who stands out.
Thought you'll understand as though I only contact one other guy besides you, you contact other girls too.
I may not know for sure how far you contact them, but I don't want to know.
I'm not your girlfriend, made that very clear from the start.
You have your space and I have mine.
I don't say anything though it does upset me to see every time you go online, you're surfing through one girl friendster after another.
I don't want to make any comments for that's your life.
Yet when I contact one guy, just one, you get so protective all of a sudden, like every thing's my fault from the very start.

Maybe it is, maybe I never should have let this proceed further than just friends, maybe I should have just stopped.
Tell me, dear, what is it that you want from me.

I don't like the way your words have thorns hidden within them, makes it hard for me to open up to you anymore.
I've got to be wary of what I say, what I do for you may misinterpret them into something which I never thought of from the start.
I know you'll read this post some time or another, so when you do, think about it and tell me.

Enough of updates, it's time to leave to meet love for swimming&catching up.

P/S: You can put the blame on me.