This post has been a long time coming, not because we turn 1 every single day, but because there is honestly so much that I am thankful for because of SH.
I have dated my fair share of guys, and with the end of every single relationship, I've learn something new. Some times it's about how I could have been a better person in the relationship, some times how to draw the lines clearer when enough is enough, some times simply that people do fall out of love even when neither of us wanted to. Regardless of what I learnt, I've slowly grown to be some one that I am proud to be, especially as I grow to be a better Christian, but that's another story altogether.
SH and I met at the most unfortunate of times, when I was picking myself up from the worse break up ever. It is never the best time to meet some one new when you're fresh from a break up because you're hurt, you're wounded, and you need time to heal, to reflect, to build up your self-esteem and tell yourself that you are not the horrible person your ex might have make you up to be. Some girls may be able to take on another guy into their lives just like that but I couldn't. I literally pushed SH away so many times simply because I was wounded and bitter from the break up. I couldn't see myself trusting another guy ever again because my trust was misplaced so many times before. But enough of how we started, I believe I have talked about this before.
Fast forward to 2 years after we first met, and 1 year after we made it official, I can not be more thankful for having this pillar of strength in my life when I can't stand by myself, my safety net when things get rough, and my constant companion for everything I do.
I say this from the heart because I cannot find a better cheerleader in my life, some one who supports (almost) every single decision I make even if it is at the expense of himself. I am a huge workaholic. Because I get paid by the hour, every hour that I'm not at work is an hour's pay lost. I literally used to work 59 hours a week because I wanted to build up my nest egg. Even now, I work before my classes and every day that I'm not at school, I'm at work. It's a crazy life some times. At the start, SH couldn't understand why I would work so much - even when I was sick - and he always pestered me to cut down my hours because he wanted to spend time with me, or at the very least, I needed time to rest as well. He would book me staycations or bring me on holidays just to force me to stop working. But now, even though we meet properly for maybe 1-2 days a week only, he understands my motivations for working so hard and I know that no one else fully understands why I work so hard. But he does.
When I'm sick, he's the one who drives all the way from camp (even though he literally just reached camp) to pick me up from work and bring me home to rest. He will force me to see a doctor even when I'm terrified of doctors because he wants to know that I am okay. He will brave the 1 hour peak hour jam to send me to school just so that I do not have to squeeze with every one on the train, even if it takes him 1.5 hours to drive back home afterwards. He also picks me up from school every single night because he doesn't want me to go back by myself late at night even though I am fully capable of going home alone. He's so selfless in every way, so much more selfless than I can ever be because I am selfish most of the time, yet he still gives and gives, never asking for much in return.
He always makes sure I get fed wherever I may be or whenever it may be. He'll bring me out for supper after work/class to make sure I don't go to sleep with an empty, growling stomach. He will pack little bits and pieces for me to bring to class if I don't have time to grab dinner. When I'm studying, he'll bring up little study provisions to where I am at just to make sure I'm not thirsty/hungry, even when I can stand up to get them by myself. When I'm craving for my usual bubble tea fix, he will drive all the way to buy it for me, then deliver it to my work place even if it isn't convenient for him to do so at all. He is truly the master of my stomach, and whoever says the way to the heart is through the stomach is definitely apt at describing me.
He is the calm to my storm. I am always busy, I do multiple things at the same time because I can't sit/stand still. I am the type of person who's using their phone during a movie - not because the movie is bad but because I need to be doing something else at the same time. I will literally be playing games while I'm watching YouTube videos, or reading a book while applying skin care. I can't, just can't, do one thing at a time. Yet he's the one who teaches me to relax, to take things easy, to appreciate the little things in life instead of rushing around trying to do a million things at one go. He's the one who gets me to sit still to appreciate a sunset, or to have a proper conversation without whipping out my phone to text some one else or to check snapchat/Instagram.
But the most important thing of all. He has taught me my own self worth. He has taught me not to short change myself for any one or any thing. Friends not treating me right? I don't need them in my life. People giving me shit? Don't take it, just walk away. I have learnt to treat myself with respect and to not bend over backwards to accommodate people who just aren't worth it. I should never cheapen myself, or my time, or my feelings for anyone who isn't worth it. This may sound simple and like common sense to most people but it is honestly easier said than done. It isn't easy to just write off people from your life, even if they're bad people who do more harm than good for you. He has taught me that I am worth loving. He accepts me for who I am, flaws and all. If there is anything that I have to change, he tells me straight up because he knows it is for my own good. Some people will just keep quiet and let it fester into something unhealthy. He doesn't. He simply doesn't take (much) shit from me and I honestly would want it no other way.
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